Train talk

“Let me ask you something, why do people always like to talk on their mobile phones while on the train, its not like it’s an emergency or anything,” says an old lady to the Indian lady sitting next to her on the train when her phone rang for the umpteenth time.

Indian lady: “I’m sorry I offend you. But you won’t know it is an emergency until you pick up the phone. It may be because I’m talking in my own language so it annoys you.”

Old lady: “No no.. I’m a teacher (I have no idea how that is relevant) and it doesn’t bother me that you speak in your own language. I’ve heard people on the phone before talking about how to cook sausages! It’s just ridiculous! It’s just that I’m old, and I’ve been on trains for many years and I used to be able to get on a train and chat with whoever is sitting across me or beside me. Now, all people do is talk on their *beep* mobile phones. I don’t mean to swear or anything but it’s just we’ve lost that connection because of mobile phones.”

Indian lady just nods and tries to ignore her.

Old lady: “I’m not trying to criticise you, I’m just asking a question. I would ask this question to anybody on this train.”

Indian lady, gets up: “This is my stop now. Sorry if I offended you.” – Probably in an insincere manner. Then, when walking pass me, she says “oh god”, softly.

I continued to observe the old lady after the Indian lady has gone off the train. I thought she would have made a scary teacher in her day. The one that everyone was scared of but was brilliant at what she did. But what she said was true.

The first time I took the train here in England, I half-hoped that I would be able to strike a conversation with someone. My thought was that, if you were going to be stuck there for about an hour, what better way to spend it than by chatting with the person next to you, sharing a bit of your life with a stranger.

But no, most people who come up the train, first thing they do, they take their laptops/netbook out of their bags and switch it on. Then proceed to ignore you for the rest of the trip while they work on something. Another common thing you see is, people who come up the train, with earphones already plugged in, and music blasting out, just so others can enjoy the music as well. Or people who think others are interested in what they are saying, talking loudly to the other person on the line.

Yes, the world is getting smaller due to technology and easily we can communicate with people halfway around the world. But what about the people sitting next to you on the train?

As I watched the old lady throughout the journey, I felt that she was a lonely old lady, trying hard to adapt to this modern world of technology, where people don’t chat with each other anymore.

Then she takes out her phone.. and calls someone to tell them that she is nearing her destination.

Ramblings of a stressed pre-reg

I’m just so stressed over dispensing now. I’m going through my dispensing accuracy assessment and only allowed to make minimal mistakes.

Let me just tell you: dispensing is just not easy. The standards they hold you to when checking through the dispensing is just too high. Forgetting to sign your name on the prescription? Minor error. Forgetting to put take in the morning? A major error. Reading the lousy handwriting wrongly? A minor error as well. But, what about the circumstances in which the mistake was made?? Nope.. no mention of that anywhere. That does not matter, what matters is you made the mistake.

Even though I put up a cheerful front, inside I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I just get so jumpy everyday when someone comes up and find me. The worst is when you come back from lunch or tea break, and they say, ooo.. I was looking for you!! And I can feel my heart sinking and all the cheer rushing out from me. It just bring such a shadow to the day that no matter what good had happened in the morning doesn’t matter anymore. Anything else you do after just seems like one mistake after another.

And let me tell you another thing. Trying to smile and be cheerful while you are at that breaking point is difficult. Trying to say, yes I’m all right when I clearly am not is difficult. But what would you gain if you gave voice to that unhappiness? Better to just block it out and not dwell on it.

But with nice colleagues who get disappointed on behalf of me, to try and cheer me up, to encourage me to try and try again, and to tell me jokes, it makes it slightly more bearable. And I suppose I will make it through somehow, even if I might need anti-depressants at the end of it.

It is just hard when I tend to excel and be good in what I do, that I will have to do this assessment over and over again. It’s de-motivating..

So I will do as I always do: confront each day with a happy mind, so I am able to take some blows along the way and not be low. Forget each day as the new day comes and start afresh.

Clocks go back

I really am not good at updating. Think it was ages ago that I last posted an update.

Clocks have gone back yesterday. So now we are at GMT instead of BST. That means it’s 8 hours behind home. It’s getting darker earlier as well. I think it was already dark at 430 and by the time i finish work and walked home at 530, it seemed like it was the middle of the night.

I’m doing my medicines information rotation now and went for a regional study day at Sutton Coldfield about medicines information as well. It was quite boring as I already knew most of the things from uni and from my 2 weeks in MI. There was this pharmacist there talking about critical appraisal and she said that she didn’t care how a drug worked, as long as it worked! I thought that was totally inappropriate and that as a pharmacist, we should care even more about the mechanism of the drug. Or else, it’s just a waste of my 4 years in uni!

However, i think MI is fun. Doing lots of research and answering queries. Have to answer the phone as well which is quite hard for me to do as the caller sometimes babbles on and I have to jot down what he/she is saying. I don’t write fast enough!

I really can’t think of anything interesting to write. Think my life’s a bit of a bore right now. To work for most of the day, come back and stone, walk around during weekends, be cheeky to colleagues….

Thinking of colleagues, there’s 3 new Spanish pharmacists working at my hospital and they are very friendly and fun people. A bit hard to understand them sometimes but so far there’s not a big communication gap. Hope they get the house near my place so I’ve got people to visit.

I’m at the point where I’m thinking of staying on in the same hospital and continue with a diploma. I shall tell my tutor that this week. Hopefully I won’t forget.

Oh ya, went to the Herefordshire Food Festival last weekend. It costed 5 pounds just to get in. It wasn’t anything interesting – most of which you could see when they have their market days. There was a lot of cider, liqueur, sausages, fresh vegetables, meat. It’s a lot different to how food festivals are like back home where you really get lots of different types of food. Well, one thing good about the food festival was that you get to try lots of things – mostly cider and liqueur. Bought some sausages which tasted really good.

I’ve got some photos from the festival but I’m being lazy and the camera is far away from me. So I will post some photos when I feel like it on Facebook.

ooOoo…. I remember something. Went to the pub for lunch with my friend and there was this old guy who kept trying to chat me up and also trying to catch my friend’s eye. Weird!!!! I have a feeling I attract weird people… :(

From this post, you can infer that I am a lazy and boring person. Which is quite true.. haha

Leaving again soon

I'm leaving home again soon for a new chapter in my life.

No more being a student but going back for my first job as a pharmacist (ok... still a preregistration pharmacist, but a pharmacist nonetheless.) It's a scary thought, me being unleashed to practice what I have learnt and what I will continue to learn.

I want to go back to being a student... I don't even feel like I know enough..

OK… I have no idea what title to give this…

I’ve been missing from the blogosphere for a while again. Haven’t had the urge to write anything, except the times that I force myself to write my report on hydrogen sulphide and on oestrogen receptors. Two totally different topics that I’m having a bit of trouble differentiating sometimes.

So what have I been doing since my creative writing foray? Nothing except finding and reading journals, and trying my very best to fit them into my report so I’m not wasting my time reading them. I think I really need more experience in finding journals as I have difficulties in trying to figure out what keywords to use.

Will be making a trip down to London for the weekend. Hopefully do a bit of shopping and as a way to clear my mind as well, but most probably I’ll bring down more journals to read and write about my crosstalking receptors.

There’s 24 more days before I’m going back home (whoa.. that’s slightly over 3 weeks left). It’s a bittersweet thought. I can’t wait to go home, but on the other hand, the thought of the end of university life is a bit depressing. The next time I come back to UK, I’ll be going through graduation and moving to a new place ALONE. It’s the alone part that I’m terrified about, and also the working part. Problem is, I’ve not found a place to stay in Hereford yet. How?

Earning a bit of money

I went for an Economics experiment yesterday, studying how people make decisions. Every point that you earn will get converted cash which would be calculated and given out at the end of the experiment.

I don't feel like going into the details of the experiment, but the maddening thing was that people can be so selfish at times. How is it they profit from other people's investments while not investing anything at all.... made me not get a lot of money!!

Well, all in all, I managed to accrue 8.90 pounds.. enough for dinner last night, which wasn't a good dinner. The company was good.. but the food was below par..

Information gun

What we need is something like a gene gun, which is used to deliver gene vaccines. Modify the gene gun, so we get something that can deliver information to our brain.

Imagine everyone having one and bombarding ourselves in the head with information so that we can store all of them in our brains without having to go through the trouble of memorising!

Is there a gene that we can tweak to make us all smart?

Revisions again....

I'm back to the library to do my revision! Why the library? Well, for one, my house is very cold. I think the insulation of the house good enough and also there are factors that prevent us from switching on the heater for long periods at a time.

For another, I actually manage to get work done in the library, which I do not manage to do when I'm sitting at home in the cold. Other things seem to be more interesting than studying when you're at home.

Well, I started coming to the library yesterday and will continue to do so until exams are over. While walking to the library, experiencing very cold weather that nobody should ever have to go through, two things went through my mind.

One is that I feel like a little kid going to school again. Waking up early to prepare to go out and tackle the day. The weight of my bag just gets me thinking about how we used to carry our heavy bags to school and back. Instead of my bag being filled with heavy books, it's filled with relatively thin stack of notes and a laptop. How times change, yet the things we do still bear resemblance to what we used to do.

Another is that I pity my poor ears. They suffer the most when I go out. Without protection and very thin skin, they have to endure the iciness. Poor poor ears...

Ok.. back to studying. I do hope that my brain actually retains what I'm trying to feed it now, and not have any leakages.

Exam timetable:

14th Jan - Preparation for Practice

16th Jan - Biomolecular Therapeutics

20th Jan - Microbial Diseases and Pathogenicity

23rd Jan - Immunopharmacology and Treatment of Chronic Diseases

 

Oh what fun!

Winter Woes

Just chatting to my friend on MSN and talking about the cold weather and the people who make it just a tad difficult to live through UK winter.

emily says:
i wan
emily says:
some animal with lots of fur
-Val- says:
polar bear
-Val- says:
hehehe
emily says:
yea
emily says:
that sounds good
-Val- says:
eh then u go back kuching sure die one la
-Val- says:
emily says:
thn i go back kuching and can cut off everything and it won't grow back d
emily says:
cuz the gene become dormant
-Val- says:
hahaha buy veet ah?
emily says:
no need
emily says:
just cut
-Val- says:
hahahahahaha
emily says:
dormant gene rmbr
emily says:
haha
-Val- says:
oh that one
-Val- says:
hahahahhaaha
-Val- says:
creative also!

So, if I had fur, I won't have so many problems associated with cold weather, would I? Dormant gene that activates when the weather is cold and unbearable and goes dormant when the weather is warm/hot.

Maybe I should just get a portable heater, a table lamp and my books, and hide in my closet to get through winter.

emily says:
i shall take the heater
emily says:
and hide in the closet
emily says:
me
emily says:
a heater
emily says:
and a lamp
Pui San says:
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Pui San says:
die later
Pui San says:
no o2
emily says:
leave a bit of opening la
emily says:
haha
Pui San says:
sounds more like prison
Pui San says:
or sauna
emily says:
sauna is good

Sounds good eh?

Don't know what to title this..

For some reason, I find myself in the same situation as I was in last year. I wonder how lucky can you get that a year ahead you experience déjà vu, which in this case isn't the feeling that it has happened before but the fact that it is history repeating itself. Ok, I don't think I'm making any sense here, so you can just ignore that last sentence and just know that I am going through the same problems that I went through last year.

I'm craving for lemon chicken.....

Finally... Food...

Above is what I had for dinner - ham and cheese tortelloni (which I bought) in carbonara sauce (which I made using mascarpone cheese, bacon and broccoli). Also made mushroom and asparagus soup and garlic bread. I wanted to put up a photo of the soup, but it looks like sewage in the photo.. so thought the better of it... It tasted good though.. I just need a nice soup bowl so that I can present it better. Another thing to add into my list of recipes.

Lately have been feeling discontented with everything. But tonight I realised there are still people out there who are great. Guess will just not take everything to heart and take one step back from everything. Just be happy-go-lucky.

Daylight savings

The clocks have been turned back and the days are getting shorter each day. It's fortunate that I wake up early each day so that I can maximise the hours of daylight that I am awake (not that I can achieve more things that way, just that it's less depressing to wake up to the sunlight instead of waking up to a gloomy day).

The temperature is dropping daily as well. So up goes the hours that the heater will be on so that the house does not become a freezer.

Anyway, it's now 8 hours difference between UK and Malaysia so will have to remember to +8 instead of +7...

Fat?

I'm writing this while I'm in stuck on the train journey back to Nottingham from London. It was great spending time with my grandparents, aunts and uncle and cousin for the two weekends, whom all of which I won't see again until next year.

I find that people around me are always complaining about their weight and figure. When you ask them what their weight is, from a BMI point of view, it's a healthy weight. And I never can see if a person is already putting on weight until it is very obvious (obvious being very huge tummy and and very round face). One thing I see from a person who says that he/she is fat, is that he/she is not fat at all. I do not know where they can pinpoint any flabbiness. Granted that the stomach may bulge once in a while after eating but that's normal right?

So, all this is making me self-conscious as well. Am I growing fat as well? I have never cared about my weight or figure as I've always been blessed with a great metabolism, and was never brought up to be very weight conscious.

I suppose I need to exercise more but that's just to get healthy (apparently my BP's a bit high when I went to check at the doctor's but I think that's due to me running to avoid missing my appointment) and also to strengthen my knees which are weak. Not to control my weight which I feel is in the healthy range. I still think I need more meat on my arms - my wrists seems small to me. But overall, I think I'm perfectly fine.

One thing that struck me while I was looking at my grandfather packing a box - how similar my dad is to him physically and in behaviour. Pa! Next time when you're old, you will look just like kung kung - without hair. hehe....

Is my blog getting to be boring?

I really need to find more topics to write about so I can update my blog more frequently.

A lot of things that we have to do this year. Lots of work for the preparation for practice module which has all sorts of things jumbled into one module - clinical aspects, law and ethics - skills that we need to "survive" in our profession.

When I start preparing for our weekly workshops which deal with different topics each week, I feel that I am so inadequate in my knowledge that it is hard to write down what counselling and advice can be given to the patient in a particular scenario. It is just scary to think that when I am out there working as a pharmacist, there won't be someone guiding me everyday to avoid any major mistakes from happening. I guess I'll just have to arm myself with the necessary information to keep from doing any major harm.

Anyway, this is the 5th week of studies and time seems to be going quickly. Chosen my final semester project titles (I'm in Physiology and Pharmacology division). Now all I have to do is cruise along and make sure I keep my marks up.

Should I join Sports Centre this year? It's expensive though... What do you think?

I know I know.. I haven't been writing much. Too much reading and researching to be done.

I've reverted to my anti-social personality and shunned every dinner invitation that comes my way (well, just the ones where we eat out, I won't ever reject any home-cooked meals). Everyone keeps telling me it's the final year of university and because of that very reason, I should go out more and have fun. But I've already been a stay-at-home person and how would this year being the final year in university change anything?

I just realised I haven't blog about my new house yet. So, a quick rundown on the house and the old Hongkie couple who are our landlords for the year.

The house: Well, the layout is basically the same as the last house I stayed in, with everything flipped 180 degrees as it is now a left corner house (if you get what I mean). It's an older version of the last house as it hasn't been renovated. One thing that is good about this place is that the windows are double-glazed which makes the whole house a lot warmer, and the rent is much cheaper than last year. It was more livable after we cleaned everything.

The landlords: Friendly people when we first met them, but still very calculative and cunning. They keep saying that we complain too much, and that they are only renting us the house - which means that they do not need to supply us everything and that we are lucky the house is even furnished! What kind of people are they? Of course we expect the house to be furnished. I can go on and on about how wrong they are as landlords. When they argue a point, they will go from A to B and back to A and to B again and so on and so forth but will never come to C (the conclusion).

Another thing is, we have explicitly told them to inform us whenever they want to come into the house to do anything. And they said that we are different from other people (read: weird) as we seem to not trust them! Of course I don't trust them - I don't even know them!! But I told them in my very broke Cantonese (which eventually I just gave up and spoke in Mandarin) that we expect them to tell us because if we come back to a house where the things are moved, we would naturally think that we have been burglarised! Stupid people...

Anyway, I do not want to talk to them ever. I will be ever so glad if I do not need to see them anymore and listen to them babble about nothing. It is also hard for me to argue with them as I do not speak fluent Cantonese. That's why I leave the arguing to Puisan who has more patience in arguing talking to them (and also because she is fluent in Cantonese).

I can go on and on about the old couple but I think it's enough for one post.

Well, here's a lesson to all of you out there who are looking to rent a house now or in the future: Never, ever rent a house from Hongkies or Chinese. Rent from a white British who are more reasonable and will not disturb you for the whole tenancy.

Oh ya... the weather these days is beautiful. Not too hot.. not too cold.. Just right. Hope it stays so.

Back to reading about paediatric pharmacy. I keep getting sidetracked by other things...

Things like this just make me worry

There was a pervert standing outside my house just now.

I was washing the dishes while cooking and staring out of the window and there was this weird white guy who came up to the sidewalk (good thing it wasn't up to the house) and kind of wiggled his fingers at me. And stood there for quite some time staring into our house. So, I averted my eyes and told my friends about it, while discussing whether or not to call someone, i.e. the police. Fortunately, he left while we were in the midst of discussion.

Then, our next door neighbour came by and said, "你们有没有看到色狼?" And we said we did. And she then said that his THING was hanging out of his pants, which we didn't notice at all. We just noticed a strange guy standing there looking in and never did see his parts hanging out which is a good thing in my opinion.

I think the police should up their patrol around this area, get rid of these perverted people. Hmm.. wonder if I'm being discriminating if I say stuff like this...

First day of classes

Today we had our first day of 4th year. And boy, were we bombarded by the fact that we are doing our MASTERS year. More of student directed learning instead of guidance by the lecturer. Projects, patient interviews, lots of studying...... and the all overwhelming decision on whether to take a 40 credit research module or a 60 credit extended one during the last semester. What if I make the wrong choice?

Moreover, there's the terrible fact that we have to work when we graduate from university. What if I make a mistake? What if everyone looks to me for answers and I don't have it and I look stupid? What if I accidentally made a major error and resulted in dire consequences and I'll have to live with that guilt forever?

I think it's better if I just continue to study all my life without having to go out into the working life. That way, I won't have to worry so much about the other things, will I? And life will be much simpler if I could manipulate time and go to any time I wish to go to.

Finally!!

I got internet connection!!! After a few days of having to go to my friend's place to borrow her internet connection, we finally have our own connection.

We had to pay 10 pounds installation fee.. but I suppose it is for the quick set-up kit. It wasn't that hard to install everything and get it running but the phone is still not working!! Waiting for them to call me back on how to fix the stupid phone.. or better yet, send someone to fix it. Oh well, as long as the broadband is up. They better not charge me for the phone line (even though the person I spoke to said they won't until everything is up and running).

You know what's great about having internet connection today? It's just in time for me to download all my favourite shows which are starting soon... :D yippee!!

Long awaited post

Thought I should update my blog with a post saying that I'm in London! Ok, I've already been in London for several days now and going back to Nottingham tomorrow. Why am I back in UK so early you ask. Well, that's because I have two hospital interviews lined up. And I have no idea how to prepare for them.

So, when I came, my bag decided to be broken, and I couldn't pull it as the lever broke. I had to carry the heavy heavy 20kg bag up and down the stairs at the tube station. I was so very glad that I did not bring another box full of stuff with me. Even so, i had quite a hard time trying to get the bag back to my aunt's place. I don't know why this happens to me every time I am in UK. Must be the weather, causing me to carry all the heavy things so I won't get overweight. Good form of exercise.

Time to watch TV. Have to watch as much as I can before going back to Nottingham as I don't have TV there. So more TV for me.

Terrible nightmare.... dreamt that it's already September and I passed the deadline to send my applications.. arghh...

Really need to start doing them. Anyone have any good ideas on how to start?

A little more than 2 weeks before I have to go back to Nottingham. Where had the time gone?